Distance Aoshi POV
by dyo
Summary: Who would have thought he's watching Misao's every move? Very sappy, I must tell you :)


DISTANCE  
  
Shinomori Aoshi's POV  
  
by dyosa :)  
  
**Standard disclaimers apply.**  
  
***  
  
Without looking, I sense you standing behind the screen doors. I do not   
  
need to look up and reassure myself for I am very receptive with your   
  
presence. Especially your presence.  
  
And so I calculate the distance between you and me.  
  
Several miles away, at least.  
  
But you are just there, behind the screen doors, and I, sitting here in this   
  
room, without company. But I intend to let you be so many miles away.   
  
Very far away from me.  
  
I do not need you to get too close, for if I do... but no, I cannot let you.  
  
My hands are sinfully stained. I have done selfish and unjust acts that are   
  
unforgivable, dimming my already dark soul. And my heart--I do not even   
  
know if I am still worthy to have a heart.  
  
I was one of those remnants of a dark past that must remain dead in this   
  
new era.  
  
But you were always there, and I, the undeserving one, would always send  
  
you away. I do not want to, but I have to.  
  
You are young, blameless with an untainted soul and a chaste heart. I   
  
want to protect what you have--something that I have lost so long ago.   
  
That is why I protect you from me.  
  
But it pains me so to push you away.  
  
You are not looking at me anymore. I seize the chance to take a glance at  
  
you, my curiosity winning over my will. You are solemnly looking at a tray on  
  
the low table as you absently play with a gold fabric in your callused, but   
  
exquisite, hands.   
  
A light breeze passed by, and a wisp of black hair caresses your cheek.  
  
I hold my breath. Capturing the image to be forever imprinted in my mind.  
  
Your angelic face, your silken black tresses, those prussian blue eyes staring   
  
thoughtfully in space.  
  
But your eyes where emotions are ever present. The same emotions that I   
  
struggle to be kept away. But you are never afraid to show them. It is   
  
your strength, and I could never understand such things. I consider it as a   
  
weakness, and to become a strong leader, I have become such as my state.  
  
Unfeeling.  
  
As I contemplate on the subject further, I found out you are everything   
  
opposite of me. Not as an Oniwabanshuu member, but as you.  
  
Misao.  
  
You reach down for the tray and starts walking down towards my direction.  
  
I suddenly become very aware of you. The time lengthens, your journey   
  
seemingly forever as you balance the tray on your hands. I observe under   
  
hooded eyes. Surprisingly, you are wearing your long hair in a simple   
  
ponytail, not in your usual long braid. But still charming--no, beautiful,   
  
nevertheless. I watch your hair swing gracefully from side to side, to the   
  
sway of your hips, the long strides of your limbs, and until to the light steps   
  
of your feet.  
  
Remarkably, you are not wearing your ninja attire, but a simple light blue   
  
short-sleeved yukata with a little knot securely tying the garment together,   
  
and a pair of hem-folded shorts.  
  
The garb seem... unfeminine, childish. But instead of seeing a child, I see   
  
you. A woman. I know that now.  
  
I suddenly feel different. It is so alien to me, and I cannot seem to tear my   
  
gaze off you. I shouldn't be surprised. Every new emotion I feel is always   
  
evoked by you. Only you.  
  
"Ohayo, Aoshi-sama!" you greet me cheerfully. Your smile radiates as I   
  
found you kneeling before me already.  
  
Speechless. It seems that I cannot find my voice. Before the second   
  
stretch awkwardly, I nod. Content with my comply, you begin with the tea.  
  
I still watch you, gracefully executing the ritual, mesmerizing me.  
  
How I wish to hold your hands in mine, and what's more, while I stare   
  
drowningly in those beautiful blue depths.   
  
::WHOA!!! Where the h*ll did that come from??? Oops! Sorry for interrupting ~_~;;::   
  
So bizarre, thinking such thoughts. But giving in to these new emotions   
  
within me has somehow let go a burden in my heart. But how it tempts me   
  
to express these feelings into words.  
  
Should I, or should I not?  
  
Omasu suddenly call from the kitchen. You scuttle up as you excuse yourself   
  
then turn around.  
  
I don't want you to go, yet. Maybe I should tell you now?  
  
I found your ribbon on the tray and instinctively reach out to your right arm,   
  
"Wait Misao," I heard my voice, composed as ever.   
  
Unbelievable.  
  
I cannot bring myself to touch you. Not yet. Especially when you turn   
  
around with a startled look in your face as you catch a glimpse of my   
  
extended arm.  
  
I start to pull back, but my hand suddenly has a will on its own as it traces   
  
your delicate skin slowly, then finding itself on my lap again.  
  
Just a trace, hardly a touch. Then you slightly blush.  
  
The need becomes greater.  
  
And so I reach for the ribbon.  
  
"You left this," and hands the material to you. I purposefully touch your palm   
  
with the tips of my fingers as you offer your hand.  
  
A mere touch, nothing more. But how it burns my whole being!  
  
Again, should I tell you now?  
  
"And," I pause.  
  
I search your eyes. I am lost.  
  
"Thank you for the tea." Coward.  
  
I can't help but give a small smile at you. A silent apology for my lack of   
  
words.  
  
But I never thought you will reward it with your own, only much more   
  
sweetly. Then you turn and left.  
  
In a daze, I watch you skip on the corridors back again behind those   
  
screen doors. You pause for a moment, an overwhelming smile on your face,  
  
then disappear.  
  
I reach out for the steaming cup to take a sip. I contemplate with our   
  
distance again.  
  
A second away. Or even less.  
  
owari   
  
*** 


End file.
